SE watching on as they devour the cake
RE loved it i finally had to take it away because i thought he would get sick. He was even reaching over to RO's plate.
JW
RO
What a wonderful, beautiful day and weekend we had for the boys first Birthday. We celebrated with family and friends and I think that the adults were more excited than the kids. It truly was the perfect birthday party. Balloons, cake tons of kids. It is hard to believe that a year has gone by. The day held so many meanings to me. It was a celebration of their birth, of what they have accomplished and how far we have come. But for me it was also an anniversary of some sort. We made it. We survived the year with all of its ups and downs. Having the boys born so early was nothing I had ever really planned on. I was determined to carry them until term.
Yet, as it was they did come early, and from that moment I lived in a state of shock and bewilderment. I am still apologizing to people for either not calling them back, not remembering that I saw them and not thanking them properly for things they did for us this year. A lot of the year is a blur. I lived at the hospital day and night. Mixed in I saw my two year old and my husband and tried to just live. I still at night, go to bed think of all the nights I called the hospital gave them my code and they would tell me everyone is sleeping and fine. I would wake up in the middle of the night and do the same thing. The middle of the night calls from the hospital I don't miss. Someone is sick, needs a spinal tab, needs blood drawn or needs to go back on the ventilator. I was told that the beeps and buzzes form the NICU still linger in your mind long after. I don't hear them in my sleep anymore. Now I can just walk in their room and see them all sleeping. What a beautiful sight it is to see thier faces in the morning all looking up from their beds. Even when everyone is screaming, fussing and I want to yell QUIET. I remind myself hey we are all here and can yell and scream what a miracle.
They are truly miracles.......................................
I am writing this not to remember the hard things but to celebrate the victories that we have had and the blessings we have received. They wouldn't be so big if we forgot where we came from. A good friend said that these boys are a testament to what the power of friends, family and most importantly prayer can do. This is so true. I have seen and felt God's power and I don't ever want to forget that feeling. God didn't put us in a state of shock he placed us in a state of peace so we could deal with those daily ups and downs. Each day I could walk in that NICU never knowing what I would face and even though I was hit hard with some heavy blows I had someone to lean on. I hurt for those who have no hope and who don't know how God is there to hold us up. I have had moments when I know it was God who was physically holding me up when I wanted to fall to the floor and cry or made things clear when I was spinning from being told that one of my children was not breathing, was sick, or not eating. I know that all the channels to God were tied up because I was talking to him 24 hours a day. So I apologize if anyone felt like they weren't getting through, that was me refusing to hang up.
A wonderful person who holds a very dear place in my heart said If you don't believe in miracles look at a baby. WOW!!!! I want to make it clear there are a lof of people who have had harder experiences and are dealing with some tough times and who are probably laughing while reading this and saying HA you don't know how bad it can get. This is true, and I am saying a prayer for all of those people that they will also know the power of God's grace and no matter what struggles they face they can face them with an army at their backs ready to take on anything.
I still pray for every child every time we go to the doctor's office or Children's hospital for a check up. I still pray at night that God would send an angel to stand at the head of each and every one of the issolettes in the nicu and they would cup those precious little babies in their hands. I pray that God would give wisdom, patience and gentleness to all those who work in the NICU because they are dealing with fragile babies and more noticeable fragile parents.
I had mixed emotions leading up to this birthday week. I told myself this will not only be their birthday but a day to remember, and believe me we will never forget. But now we are going to look forward to every day and each and every wonderful blessing we receive.
Thank you once again to everyone who helped us make it through this year. Know you all hold a very special place in our hearts and we will always remember the kindness and generosity. Thank you to the doctors, nurses, therapists and teachers that have become part of our family.
Thank you to our families. Although I never tell you enough I really, really wouldn't make it each day without your help.
O.K. enough with the acceptance speech..........................................Happy Birthday
RO born at 1 lb 15 oz now.......20 lbs ( our sweet pea)
JW born at 2 lb 6 oz now........a whopping 23 lbs (bruiser) be careful he'll sit on you
RE born at 2 lb 4 oz now .........19 lbs ( yes he is wanting to walk)